One Thing You Can Do

In an effort to tap into the power of prayer and connect with one another, the women of my mom's prayer group is taking time to light a candle and spend a few minutes in prayer every evening at 8pm.

I absolutely love the idea of my mom's network of family and friends each partaking in the power of prayer simultaneously, from our various posts in the world. I will certainly be making this a part of my nightly routine and I invite you to do the same. Even if you can only do it one night, please take this opportunity to be a part of corporate prayer for my mom.

And while I have you for a minute, thank you to everyone who has left a comment, called, texted or touched base to support me and my family as we navigate this unfamiliar and frightening terrain. It's such an enormous encouragement, so thank you.

Mom Update 10/31

Update (9:29pm): After spending all day at the hospital with mom, I don't have much new info to report. She's still not actively awake, but by the time we'd left, it seemed as though the brief spells when she'd open her eyes were happening more often. She's still not moving her right side at all, but the neuro PA told us she did respond to pain stimuli, so she's at least got feeling (which is great).

We also learned that after a stroke, the brain swells. It won't be until after that swelling comes down that they will be able to do any real kind of assessment and diagnostics in terms of permanent damage. So there is still nothing we can do but continue to wait. It could be a few days or up to a week. Obviously, the sooner she becomes responsive (and the brain swelling goes down) the better. The most consistent message we got all day was that it's simply way too soon to tell.

The one bit of encouragement from the day was that as I was saying goodbye to mom for the day, she woke up a bit and tightly gripped my hand, squeezed it, and didn't want to let go (after trying to shove my sleeve cuff off my palm - she hates it when I pull them long). So the fact that she held on tight and did an action she'd do under normal circumstances was a good sign. Granted, it's a small one, but still good.

Update (1:09pm): Unfortunately I don't have any good news to report. She's still not moving on her right side (the stroke was in the left side of her brain - I think I said it backwards earlier), though she is fidgety on her left side. But she's still not awake even though she's not sedated. Not exactly sure what that means, other than that since she's not communicating and not actively awake, they can't assess the extent of the damage. Thus, it's a waiting game. There is nothing they can actively do at this point. We have to wait and see if she will come out of it. They were unable to even give us a best/worst case scenario as it's just too early to tell. And so we wait.

This morning I got a call from the hospital updating me on my mom's status. As I mentioned earlier, they had noticed that she wasn't very responsive on her left side. So this morning they did a CT scan and confirmed that she did have a stroke. They don't know yet the extent of the damage. It's possible that she could recover completely in six months, or it's possible that she may not. She's with the stroke team right now as they try to figure out what the situation is. A few months ago she had an unexplained subdurral hemotoma (sp?). They're now wondering if that is related to what we're seeing now.

Currently she's still pretty groggy, but that is normal. Mark and I are heading down to the hospital now - I'll update more when we have more info.

Open Heart Surgery

Update (10:00pm): Just called the ICU to check in on mom and the nurse on duty said she still hadn't regained consciousness from the anesthesia. He was a little concerned that she was only responding on one side of her body. Since she's still not alert, she is still intubated. He said he has seen this before and the patient was just fine, but it's still cause for a little concern. Hopefully they'll be able to get the tube out by morning. Please keep praying for her (and us! I'm mostly keeping the panic at bay, but I'm pretty exhausted and my defenses are down). I'll try to update the post again in the morning.

Update (3:14pm): Everything went really well - they are currently closing her up right now. They did three bypasses, one valve replacement and one valve repair. I meet with the docs for the official debrief in about an hour. She'll go straight to ICU for recovery. The next 24-48 hours will be the most telling...

Update (11:44am): Everything is going as planned - she is on the heart/lung machine and they are beginning work on the bypasses. That will be followed by the valves. Next update should be around 3pm. So far, so good!

My mom is having her surgery done today (they're getting underway any minute...), so if you have a spare moment today and wouldn't mind saying a prayer or two, we'd be much obliged. :)

I'll update this post with any news as I get it throughout the day. But feel free to post any questions, etc.

I Finally Figured it Out

I'll be honest with you, sometimes it's tempting to be satisfied with mediocrity and to let myself meander toward whatever meaningless job I can find in an effort to "move forward" and stand on my own two feet again. But after a moment of serious consideration, I usually sigh and shake my head because I know that will never do. I know I won't let myself live with that kind of dissatisfaction. How do I know? Simple. Because there is not one moment in which I have ever found myself regretting a) going to Italy or b) quitting La Belle. In a way, that life was a form of mediocrity. It was a plateau and I was unwilling to endure it another moment.

So here I am, living out of a bag for my 13th month, sleeping on couches, guest beds and futons, living on the generosity of family and friends with no real job, no real prospects, and absolutely no excitement about finding a job. It was this last one that really made me stop and think, "What am I even moving toward? What am I doing?"

I had made a promise to myself the summer after college when Becky and I lived in Spokane. During a several week long temp assignment at the Home Loan Center of a large bank during the mortgage re-financing fiasco of the century, I learned what it was to hate a job. I woke up each morning filled with dread. I had to bribe myself with rewards just to get up, to get dressed, to walk to the car....I counted down the days; the hours. I promised myself then I would never let myself keep a job I hated. It simply wasn't worth it. The money, the stability, the safety - it wasn't enough. As I left La Belle and Bellingham behind and headed for Italy, I felt I had kept that promise to myself. I certainly didn't dread or even really dislike my life as it was. But I knew if I stayed, I would. By leaving it was certainly a giant risk, but I had allowed myself to keep an important promise.

But after a year of joblessness and a constant state of impermanence, I still had no answer to the question, "Where was I going?" Like all things profound, the answer came to me unexpectedly and when I wasn't looking for it. After watching a documentary called American Teen (a real life version of The Breakfast Club wherein they follow a prom queen, a jock, a band geek, and a weird girl through their senior year of high school in Warsaw, Indiana) with my mom, we were having a great conversation about the difficulties of being a high school student and how important positive role models are. I was shocked by the lack of impact teachers had made on these students and found myself reflecting on how many teachers had influenced me (though I hadn't realized it at the time). The more I talked about it, the more impassioned I became. It would be so easy for me to connect with high schoolers; so simple to make a positive impact! As a joke I said to my mom, "I should be a teacher." And almost as soon as it was out of my mouth, something within me clicked into place. I should be a teacher.

I was tempted to dismiss the idea immediately...but instead, I took a portion of my new-found-Italy-sojourn courage and tested the idea out on my mom. As any good mother would, she smiled and told me I'd be great. And of course, I believed her.

From there the seed of this idea only grew as I began to both internally process the idea and to test it out on people I knew and trusted. If they thought I could do it...maybe I really could. Each time I bashfully shared my idea, I continued to receive positive and enthusiastic feedback. Everyone seemed to be saying to me, "Well, duh!" Slowly I grew enough confidence to finally be able to say, "I want to be a teacher when I grow up*."

Now when I share this news, most people assume I will be a math teacher, either because they know that is precisely what my brother does (and let me tell you - when I told him my intention to be a teacher, the pride in his voice nearly melted my heart) or because they know I have a secret love affair with number crunching and Excel, I don't know. But instead I have chosen English as my intended course of study. Usually this results in several nods of understanding, something akin to "Ah, yes - I should've known."

So now I'm pointing my footsteps toward the long path of graduate school and a master's degree. I find myself telling people something I had never, even the slightest intention of ever saying: "Actually, I've decided to go back to school..."

I won't tell you that some days aren't still filled with frustration as I lack any and all control over my current circumstances, or that I don't miss the independence of "the old days," or that I'm not sick of wearing the same limited wardrobe, but at the end of the day I know this chapter of displacement will be worth it. I finally know where I'm going and for the first time, I'm excited to get there. And I figure that's a good thing. "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step**," so my plan is to just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

*Unless of course the Mariners offer me a job other than peanut concessions; then I'll do that instead.

**Lao Tzu

Hawk Fan Update

Guess what I found in the boys section at Value Village for $2.99?? That's right baby, I'm legit.


Alexander may not be my favorite player ever (if memory serves, he left the Seahawks as a bit of a whiny baby), but he pretty much served his entire career here and if I'm not mistaken, had an absolutely redonkulous amount of running yards during his Seattle tour. Plus, he was a pretty awesome dude. I'll take it. (And dream of a Tatupu or Houz jersey in days to come...)

In my pursuit to be a more educated Hawks fan I discovered two blogs - perhaps you too will find them worth your time (can also be found on the sidebar under Sports Blogs):

The first is the Times blog: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/seahawksblog/index.html. I don't have high hopes for this one other than as a reliable source for Seahawks related news. I doubt the analytics will be worth shaking a stick at. I read the equivalent blog for the M's and it serves its purpose.

The second looks like it may have potential for actual thoughtful output. At least, that's his self-proclaimed reason for existence, so one can only hope. Plus, he actually references statistics. Hot dog!! http://hawkblogger.blogspot.com/

Lastly, as my brother was kind enough to point out in the comments of the previous Seahawks post, "offsides" only refers to when the defense crosses the line of scrimmage prematurely. It's a false start when the offense does it. Same action, different term. Got it.

See? It's stuff like this you guys gotta tell me so I don't sound like an idiot. Thanks Mark. Don't worry, we can all learn how to love football together. :)

Second Annual Champoux Cribbage Tourny

Note: Yes, this is terrifically overdue; get over it and enjoy!

As May rolled around, it was time again for the Second Annual Champoux Family Cribbage Tournament (we really need a shorter name for that, seriously). A tradition unknowingly born long ago in the Champoux family, it’s a day of camaraderie, competition, and cribbage. If you’re a semi-regular reader of this blog, you may recall that at last year’s competition, I walked away as the first ever Cribbage Champ (woo hoo!). So this year as we gathered again, it was my responsibility to not only defend the title, but also to host the main event. Now, seeing as I don’t (in the most technical sense) actually have a place to live (let alone host the dang thing) it was necessary for me to call in the reinforcements: Papa Poux and Bonus Mom. Fortunately, they are two of the most generous people I know and were only too happy to open their house for the day.

So with that minor detail reconciled, I sounded the horns (if you will) beckoning all Champouxs near and far to heed the call and commemorate the passing of our beloved patriarch and matriarch (22 and 2 years ago, respectively). All in all we had 24 players answer the call to come and compete for their share of family fame. Really it was quite a good turnout – several families from the east-side of the mountains made it and even some out of staters!

I adopted a few minor changes this year in an effort to a) keep people involved a little longer and b) to shorten the length of the event (all in all I think it took nearly 12 hours last year…yikes.) So instead of round robin play to establish seeding, followed by a best of three match-up (winner moves on, loser is eliminated), we decided on single game match ups with double elimination. That meant there would be both a winner’s bracket and a loser’s bracket. (So you’re tellin’ me there’s a chance…)

With 24 players to start, the first round would narrow it to 12 players; the second round leaving us with 6; and the third round with only 3 players left in contention in each bracket. The winner’s bracket at this point took a break, while the losers bracket played a game of three-hand, sudden death cribbage. The winner of this game would join the remaining three from the winners bracket and comprise our final four. From here play would commence as you might expect until only one player remains.

So after a good solid hour of socializing (and waiting for our final players to arrive…) we finally divvied up crib boards and playing cards and each of us began the seemingly monstrous task of winning 5 games in a row to claim the coveted trophy as our own.

My first match-up was against Maddie Bradshaw, who, though still being in grade school, is quite the little card player. Despite her onslaught of 15-point hand after 15-point hand, I was just scrappy enough to keep up. Unfortunately, shortly after we rounded the skunk line, she straight up laid down a 25-point hand and I said good-night. After the first round, I was in the loser’s bracket. It was going to be a long road to victory alright….

Despite being in the loser’s bracket, I cruised through the next three rounds defeating Monica, Cristy, and Jackie to take my place as one of the final three “losers” fighting for a place in the final four. I soon learned that Uncle Joe and Pete Bradshaw were my fellow competitors and we immediately set to work. What followed was probably one of the most intense games of my life. The three of us each desperately trying to eke out a lead, pegging as many points as possible, hoping to find our peg out in front come the finish line. Would you believe it came down to the final card? The three of us were all clustered right near the stink hole, with one card left in our hand. Each of us had the potential to peg the final point to victory. Who would it be?? Let me tell you, it was intensity in ten cities. When all the cards had been laid, it was Pete who was able to claim that final, victorious point and with it a chance at ultimate victory. I was sad to see my hopes of winning for the second year in a row finally snuffed, but I couldn’t have asked for a more exciting ending. If I was going out, that was how I wanted it to be.

Due to an earlier forfeit, the bracket was slightly skewed, so it turned out Pete had one final match up to play, before the final four was determined. Unfortunately for Pete, that one last game put an end to his winning streak and he opponent Jeff claimed the final seat in the final four. We drew names to determine the matches and it was set for Katy Jo to face Jeff and for Mark to battle my dad. I was pleased to see such a strong representation by my immediate family, but since they were facing each other, I hardly knew who to root for!

In the end, it came down to Katy Jo and Mark. Interestingly enough, this was an opposite sex mirror image of last year’s championship match between Billy and myself. (For those readers who don’t have our family tree memorized, Katy Jo is Billy’s sister and Mark is my brother.) Somehow, the whole thing seemed perfectly balanced.

Both players had great momentum heading into the final match – Katy Jo had been playing great all day, redeeming herself from an early elimination last year. Mark too had confidence on his side as he had skunked nearly every one of his competitors. The game began close, with the characteristic swapping of the lead that is common early in the first few hands of cribbage. However, Mark slowly began to edge out a lead until just after he passed the skunk line, when he laid down a monster (insert a Russian accented John Malcovitch voice here). For the second time that night Mark had managed a 20 point hand with trip 7s and two Aces*. Victory was undoubtedly his.

Even though it was inevitable that a family member was going to win, I have to admit, I was particularly proud that the champion was still within the immediate family. Congratulations Mark – you certainly earned it!!

All in all, it was another extremely successful Tournament. The easy socializing, the constant grazing over the seemingly infinite plates of food, the frequent rumble the laughter from the uncles in another room…it was the kind of day I will always associate with family and I can’t think of a better way to honor our grandparents.

*He cut for the second Ace, in case you were wondering.

In Other (Hawks-related) News...

On Sunday I had the opportunity to attend my first ever regular season Seahawks game. I know, it's a little weird that a sports fan such as myself waited until I was 28 to experience this particular display of athleticism, but it's true. While I watched football growing up, we just hadn't the gumption to go to any games. Frankly, I suppose it's mostly because it's so much more expensive than a baseball game, but whatever. So when my dad asked me if I'd like to go, I was more than happy to oblige.

Pre-Game Notes:
Now I can't say I was overly emotive (the truth is I have been to a pre-season 'Hawks game before), but I was still looking forward to it. I knew that Sunday's game wouldn't be drastically different from my previous experience, but in the same way that spring training for the M's is fun yet meaningless, so was that pre-season game. This time is was real. This time something was legitimately on the line. The fans know it. The team knows it. The city knows it. And I'm here to tell you, it makes a difference.

Now since I've been faithfully following the M's and keeping an eye on the post-season, I hadn't been paying one lick of attention to the Seahawks. Actually, that's not completely true: I watched the first game of the season in Cle Elum during a faux grape stomp event when the 'Hawks shut-out the Rams on opening day. So I guess technically I've paid exactly one lick of attention. But you get my point - I hadn't really been following their season. I was doing the equivalent of walking into the living room 20 minutes into a movie. I'd seen the preview and knew the basic plot, but I was missing the details needed to understand the current scene in context.

So Dad brought me up to speed by indicating that the Seahawks had gone 1-1 in their first two games, wherein Matt Hasselbeck (the quarterback) went down with a broken rib. He'd been out for a couple games and in that time the 'Hawks hadn't pulled a win (yikes). But today was his first game back (yay!) but if we didn't win, Seattle could pretty much say good-bye to the post-season already (eke!). Today we were playing the Jags, who were supposedly pretty good and picked to win. A grim start to Seattle's story this year, I must say. But I was along for the ride, win or lose. For the next three hours, the 'Hawks were my team and I'd give 'em all I've got as a fan, cheering and booing with the best of 'em.

Game Time:
You'd think that being a sports fan is a pretty straight forward task. Cheer for your team, boo crappy calls, high-five your neighbor in a display of general good will when the team scores...straight forward, right? Turns out that being a football fan is a whole different animal. In fact, it felt so drastically different to me, that for a split-second I considered going back to school to be a psych major just so I could study the phenomenon of different sports cultures (but then I remembered that I'd actually hate that and was free to just wonder about it on my own, so I'll commence doing that now.)

To start with, football fans are not kidding around about their fandom. In fact, I felt pretty lame since I was about the only person in the stadium (or within a quarter-mile radius, for that matter) that wasn't wearing a jersey, hadn't painted my face and/or facial hair, or had at least two pieces of other Seahawks paraphernalia (scarves, gloves, ponchos, pom-poms...you name it). To me this implies that the fans are more committed in general. You simply don't see this for baseball games. People wear M's gear, but...this was a whole other realm than simply "wearing gear." People were tail-gaiting in the parking lots, screaming "go hawks!" every few seconds, and shoving each other around in that way jocks do as part of the ritualistic preparation for competition. These people were invested in and had a real passion for their team. I get that. In fact, I love that.

Once we were inside I saw even more unspoken rules of Seahawk fandom. For one, people sat in their seats and stayed there. There was no up-and-down-every-five-seconds-is-that-the-peanut-man-I-need-a-shish-ka-berry-what-just-happened? attitude here. People set up camp in their seats and they pay attention. In fact, fans pay such rapt attention, they consider it their duty to participate in the game. They do so by cheering as loud as possible and as long as possible whenever the visiting team is preparing to snap the ball. The idea being that by creating so much noise, they can induce an off-sides penalty by preventing the visiting team from hearing the quarterback count clearly and accidentally take off too early - muahhahha! I know it sounds a little silly, but it totally works. I am proud to say I partook in the noise that resulted in the 85th visiting team off-sides penalty at Qwest Field. (Which is the MOST visiting team off-sides calls in the NFL, by the way.) Go 12th man!! What gets me about the whole thing though is not that fans do it, but that the players on the field beckon for it. In baseball, it takes an extraordinary play and a standing ovation curtain call before a player usually acknowledges the crowd. In football, the fans and the players have a regular relationship. The 12th man in no joke, my friend.

Now granted, football is a much faster paced game, so it is by definition necessary/easier for fans to pay closer attention, but even so, should something NOT be happening - the NFL doesn't leave the fan to fend for his or her own entertainment. Between the big screen replays, the booming overhead voice recapping every play, and the bountiful cheerleaders (which are extremely distracting, by the way. I learned from my pre-season experience not to even glance at them otherwise the entire game had gone by and all I could tell you about it was that the cheerleaders wore three different outfits (but the same shoes!), they rotate corners of the stadium every quarter, and they don't actually do a lot of dancing....Seriously, they're mesmerizing), a football fan is never left wanting for entertainment. In this capacity, it is the perfect game for Americans and our every decreasing attention spans. (Which is actually kind of sad, in my opinion. But that's neither here nor there.)

Post-Game Analysis:
Even with nonstop action/entertainment (2 field goals, 4 touch downs, and 2 fumble-recovery-TDs, six 3rd down conversions, and 2 QB sacks) and a 41-0 Seahawks win (yahooooo!), as an educated baseball fan, I found myself craving more stats. The team offense and defense numbers are posted around the stadium (basic team yardage, pass completions, sacks, etc.) but the more I learned about our team, the more I wanted to know. Where are the real stats??

Apparently we've suffered quite a few injuries this year, so we have some second-stringers getting significant playing time. Well, how good are they? And I don't just mean, Mr. So-and-so's opinion, or how they ranked in college. How do they compare to the hurt player? Are they better or worse than a typical league average replacement player? By how much? Where the heck are my Win Above Replacement values?! Are players over-performing or playing to their true talent level? Will players regress to the mean, or can they simply not cut it at this level of play? What about our offense - what plays have been statistically the most successful? How about sucky? Stats, stats, stats, stats, stats, stats, stats, stats! I want real, meaningful, analytical stats!! Are there any Seahawks football bloggers out there...?? Can I get a what-what? Anyone...? Bueller...?

Okay, so I might be trying to eke some of my baseball enjoyment out of football, but regardless, I still had a really great time. In fact just before half-time, I leaned over and said to my dad, "I'd be a much better 'Hawks fan if their season didn't start during the M's season. It forces me to come late to the party. Someone should really look into that." :)

I may be late, but I'm here and I'm ready to party. There are 11 games left in the regular season: Seahawks, you've just earned yourself one more fan, baby!

Mom's Surgery: Update

My mom's open heart surgery was postponed because she has a cold :( That disappointing and hard to hear because we were all ready to just deal with it, move on, and work toward her feeling better all the time. It's pretty discouraging, but we'll trudge through and go through the whole rigmarole again at the end of the month. Stay tuned...

In the mean time, thanks for your prayers!!

A Quickie Update:

I've been busy, busy, busy lately as my two week temp assignment stretched into six, my bonus mom had reconstructive surgery, I found a new hair dresser (yay!), I had my 10-year high school reunion, the Mariner's finished off an emotional season with a big (albeit, insignificant) win, and I finally figured out what what I want to do with my life (and it's good too!). Oh and next week - my mom is going in for open-heart surgery. Yes: Open. Heart. (Prayers please.)

So with all this care-taking I'll be doing (bonus mom this week; mom next week and beyond...) and no temp job sucking up my time, I may (MAY!) actually have some time to breathe. My goal is to catch up on some posts (both of the relevant-to-my-life as well as the having-no-actual-point-other-than-I-was-thinking-about-it varieties). But we'll see.

In other news, didja see Carrie's new video yet? *Sigh* I wish I could be Carrie when I grow up.