Step Up 3D*

*Yes, yes, I've been gone from the blog for a while. I've been attempting to deal with grief and settle into a life in Seattle - I'll get to all that. But first: let's talk dance movie!

I'll cut straight to the chase: the dancing is straight-up, fantazimacaly wow!, spare no expense, bang for your buck (and then some), A-MA-ZING. Dare I say, it overachieves. As the finale in the trilogy, it delivers. (Plus, for all you SYTYCD fans, there are tons of fun cameos - and who doesn't love cameos?)

The acting, however (brace yourself) is absolutely horrendous. Like really terr-i-ble acting. And I'm not talking about the brand of bad acting one might normally be prepared to accept in a dance movie. We all know we're watching dancers who are simultaneously trying to act. At best, it tends to range from slightly cheesy (Step Up 2) to slightly stiff (the original Step Up). I mean hey, they can't all be a triple threat like J-Lo. I get it. I accept it. In fact, I know this phenomenon well. But this movie....it was almost embarrassing. (Oh and the plot stinks too.)

I know, I know: no big surprise, right? I suppose I should've seen that coming (especially since the first two weren't Oscar winners or anything), but one can hope that the acting and plot would at least be palatable. Instead, they're actually cringe-inducingly bad. Apparently the budget was only so big - and they went for broke on the dancing.

Generally speaking, a bad, cheesy, or well-worn plot doesn't bother me. Do I hope for more? Sure. But there are plenty of circumstances where we excuse a meh plot. Take for example action movies. Are the plots often good? No. But it gets our hero into and out of trouble (all with a hot babe on his arm) so at the end of the journey we are completely satisfied. Romantic comedies are no different: girl meets boy, a misunderstanding of epic proportions ensues, insert a public, heartfelt, apologetic soliloquy and all is forgiven as they live happily ever after. Sports movies to do it too: our hero has to overcome some adversity in order to win the game (and usually the morale of entire town, school, or city) in the last inning, half, minute or period - yaaaaaaay!! Often the plot is simply the vehicle to get us from point A to point B. Sure it's nice if that ride is a high class car from time to time, but most often we could care less if the car is a little dinged up; we really just need a reliable ride.

What bothers me is a poorly constructed plot. Is it so much to ask that the character's actions make logical sense? Is a little character building really so cumbersome? Take the movie Sweet Home Alabama (Gasp! Yes, I said it. I know everyone seem to really like this movie, but it really, really bothers me. Rest assured, my enjoyment of Reece Witherspoon and Josh Lucas is able to quell my distaste...but I digress.) The conflict between Melanie Carmichael and her mother is established early in the movie as the result of Melanie's unwillingness to stay in the south (e.g. rejected airline tickets, refusal to see NY, disapproval of leaving Jake, etc.). However, during the height of Melanie's which-man-do-I-choose dilemma, her mother counsels her to "get out" and to "not end up like me." WHAT THE HECK!! This kind of discongruity bothers me to no end. Does she want her to stay or to go? To be loyal to her roots or to sprout wings and fly? PICK ONE! Otherwise, the mother's entire role within the movie is absolutely meaningless; it's simply noise. If it doesn't contribute to the plot - EDIT IT OUT.

Perhaps it's not totally accurate to say that this kind of misalignment is what troubles me so. Rather, it's when a movie has the potential to accomplish something, to truly tell a wonderful tale, to really capture you and whisk you away from reality....but instead it completely pusses out and falls flat on its face. This, this actually physically bothers me; it offends me. To be able to visualize the vastness of a story's potential and to be powerless to see it come close to fruition...ugh, it pains me. I want to shake my fist and yell, "Can you not afford a decent editor?! Can you not see the gaping holes in your story? Call me! I'm not doing anything! I'll help you!! YOU'RE SO CLOSE TO SOMETHING GREAT!" It's as though someone was too impatient to wait for the masterpiece and instead revealed to the world something that was simply "good enough." Who does that? What if Michelangelo had done that? (Granted, this movie is no Michelangelo, but you get my point.)

Such is the case with Step Up 3D. Though it admittedly recycles all parts of its plot, it demonstrated the potential to be MORE than just a "dance movie." But instead of facing that challenge head on, it attempts to disguise its shortcomings with beautiful people, special effects, and killer dancing. It pisses away its poignant moments by juxtaposing them with sterile acting and a loosely strung plot line. It cheapens what could have been a fairly sweet story by forcing what should be the subplot into the lime-light.

The two beautiful people on the movie's headliner poster? Yeah, they can't act and (are you ready for this?) have short and uninspiring dance roles in the movie. They're not even the main characters (as much as this movie tries to pretend they are.) Instead the movie is really about Moose, the skinny kid from the subplot of Step Up 2, and his best girl friend. And truthfully, that storyline is actually well done. They keep a predictable story interesting, have a few genuine moments and, of course, they dance well...but who would see a movie about him? So they cram beautiful, crappy actors into the movie to be on the poster and shove a C+ plot for them into the storyline. *Sigh* I get it, but...really? I mean, the "hot dude" doesn't even really dance! He's always in the background in the group dance scenes and most of the shots are from the waist up in the tango scene. Oh Step Up, we're too smart for that.

Perhaps I'm being greedy: asking too much of my dance movies, holding the bar too high. But in all honesty, I don't think so. The pieces were there; sadly, they just didn't put them together.

Now, just because I couldn't stop editing the movie in my head to make it better and more believable, that certainly doesn't mean I didn't like it. I mean, pfft, com'mon!! It's a dance movie!! OF COURSE I LIKED IT!! I've never met a dance movie I didn't like*. I can hardly wait for it to come out on DVD so I can buy it and complete my little trilogy and watch it over and over and over and over...

*Except of course for Save the Last Dance. That movie was terrible. And not only does Julia Stiles butcher it with her "acting," she clearly doesn't do any of the real dancing (her stunt double has a completely different body type. Please.) I am only willing to tolerate crappy acting on account of good dancing. Alternatively, I'm willing to accept a really good dancing double if: a) the acting is quality and the main actor does at least some of it (Footloose), b) the movie makes a smooth and seamless effort to fool me (Flashdance), or c) the movie is pre-1999 when it became all the rage to do your own stunts (too many examples to site here). STLD (or rather Julia Stiles) clearly meets none of these conditions. Poor Sean Patrick Thomas.

Movie Review: Valentine's Day

I know, I know - cheesy, girly, chick flick is written all over this movie - I won't deny it. But at least I salvaged a shred of self-respect by waiting until March to see it (I mean, right?).

In any case, I recently had the opportunity to go see the movie Valentine's Day with my new friend Katie and we made the best of it. I had actually heard the movie wasn't very good (which is saying a lot when a known quantity like a sappy chick-flick gets the thumbs down from a gaggle of girls), so our expectations were pretty low.

I think the idea behind the film was to build on the success of popular tangentially-related, multiple-plot type movies like Love Actually* or She's Just Not That Into You. Unfortunately the attempt comes off much like that kid in junior high with the cotton candy pink Wet n' Wild lipstick who is clearly trying too hard. In an effort to avoid the stereotypical, cookie-cutter endings to which most romantic comedies fall victim (and thus, why we love them), nearly every plot has an "unexpected" twist. While the effort to do something different is appreciated (...kind of), the end result stinks. It is instead a movie of overly predictable endings. You expect the unexpected (except of course for the main plot, which is 100% predictable...and probably the most enjoyable part of the movie, actually).

If you're going to attempt something like this, it requires authentic story lines with quality character building. Do I even have to tell you that quality plot doesn't touch this movie with a ten-foot poll? I didn't think so.

However, all is not lost for Valentine's Day. Even though the formula for the movie is clearly a poor man's Love Actually (even to the point of sub-plot mimicry), I will give it bonus points for humor. As much as I want to dislike Ashton Kutcher, he is goofy and awkward and completely charming in the most wonderful way. I was having absolute giggle fits over some of his scenes with Jennifer Garner. Jamie Foxx has a few good lines too and really, even though the plot with McSteamy turned out to be kind of lame - who cares! HE'S McSTEAMY!!!

As far as entertainment value goes, I have to give it a passing grade. I laughed, I cringed at the horrifically embarrassing high school scene, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself for 90 minutes. You've got to at least give it that. Would I recommend it? Not to spend money on. But at the same time, I felt like I got my $5/hour of entertainment out of it...just not as a quality movie. If you watch it, keep your expectations low, try to limit your predictions (for your own sake) and let yourself get sucked in by Ashton and Jennifer's charm. It'll be worth it (if you rented it from a Red Box or are watching it on someone else's dime).

My favorite part though was an out-take. For all you Julia Roberts fans out there, this one's for you (Note: this does not spoil the movie in any way - although, why would you be worried about that? - but it does spoil this funny out-take so continue at your own risk). During a scene near the end of the movie she is riding in a limo. The driver asks her if she's ever been shopping on Rodeo Drive. Without missing a beat she half-smiles and says, "Yeah....one time. Big mistake. Big. HUGE!**"

I was absolutely tickled! She used one of her own quotes in context. She's my new hero, I could've died happy right there :)

*If you haven't seen this movie - you really should. It's wonderfully done and the opposite of this movie I'm currently tearing to pieces.

**If you don't get this - I'm sad for you. Go watch Pretty Woman. Right now. Go!!

Attention Carrie Fans!

New Album comes out on November 3!! New single (Cowboy Cassanova) is already out - SO GOOD!

Can't talk. Too excited! Listen for yourselves: http://www.carrieunderwoodofficial.com/

(Man she's awesome.)

Stay tuned for an album review in early November.

On a Musical Note

In a previous post about Chicago, I briefly mentioned a performer named Lenka whom I saw live and alluded to the fact that I'd elaborate later. Well, now it's later.

She was dang near the cutest thing I'd ever seen - I honestly wanted to shrink her down and stick her in my pocket and take her home with me. So. Dang. Cute. (Plus she's Australian - how can that be bad?)

She's been described as "Bubble Gum Pop," but this description is wrong to me. In my mind, BGP would be something like Mandy Moore or Britney or Jessica Simpson (before either of the latter two got quite so slutty). They have sweet reputations, they can sing, and their lyric content is 100% dull.

While Lenka indeed fits the first two criteria, she is a credited singer/songwriter/musician. I think the girl deserves some props for not being a mass-produced studio output. She's a creative entity in and of herself. Is her music a bit fluffy sounding? Sure, a bit. But I think she has a unique enough sound and interesting enough lyrics to redeem her from a BGP label. She reminds me more of Sara Barellis or Tristan Prettyman.

Anyway, I unexpectedly loved her. She's worth checking out. (And if you've been downloading the free itunes singles of the week, you already have one track...)

Oh and PS - Kelly Clarkson has a new album coming out in April. I can hardly wait. Stay tuned for the review....
Photos by JAMES GULLIVER HANCOCK

Anker Cafe

If you haven't been to the Anker Cafe, you should really check it out. They took over the old Fantasia space on Cornwall Ave downtown. And not only is it totally organic (meaning grass roots and cool, not media-culture "organic") and earthy, but the food is completely yum-o. They regularly serve Pure Bliss desserts and let me tell you: they are most appropriately named. (Everything in the case tastes even better than it looks; trust me, I know the owner.)

And as if this weren't enough, the owners (the Ankers) are totally rad. They'll hook you up with their free wireless internet (just ask), they frequently have live music goin' on, and the chill atmosphere and funky art on the walls is enough to make anyone want to write a sonnet.

Not to mention that Bill (one of the owners) is absolutely creative out the wa-zoo. Not only does he make some of the most fantastic soups I've ever had the occasion to taste, but he is all about the finishing touches. I ordered a nanamo (nanimo? na-noo na-noo?) bar with my tea and not only did he fancy-pants-chocolate-up my plate before serving it to me (insert Homer Simpson-esque drooling noise here), but he also busted out that frickin' awesome anchor you see in the drink pictured above.

Now to be fair, he did that to Erin's drink and not mine, but still: rad-tacular! It was the final touch to what he calls the Bazooka Breve. (Or something like that. Upon reflection, that might not be right....but it wasn't my drink, so other than the über cool anchor, I wasn't really paying that much attention.) In any case, it is a drink of his own invention that included espresso, chocolate, caramel and half & half. What could be bad about that?

If you have the chance, you should stop by and pay them a visit. They're working hard for the money, so you'd better treat them right ;)

Tweener List

I've had a few requests for examples of the Tweeners I've seen, so I thought I'd share with the everyone (in case anyone else was also interested).  Enjoy!

Lars and the Real Girl

Once

Away from Her

Juno

Death at a Funeral

Before Sunrise

Bella

Son of Rambow

Waitress

In Bruges

The Nines

What I Like to Call "Tweeners"

You know those movies that small-ish production companies put out that are advertised just enough that you hear about it once and would like to see it, but then you miss the window of opportunity and never end up watching it? The films that do not come with billion dollar budgets and a predictable ending? The ones that aren't exactly independent films per se (which pretty much guarantees you an unhappy ending), but they're somehow not conventional either? These are what I like to call Tweeners and I'm gaining a rapid appetite for them.

Thanks to my newfound freedom afforded me via Netflix (see earlier post), quite a few Tweeners have found their way into my DVD player of late. It seems to me that films like these combine the best of both worlds: they're not afraid to tackle a particularly interesting/different/challenging content, yet you don't see the ending coming from 30 minutes in (either as the cookie cutter perfection that Hollywood tends to feed us, but also not the inevitable downer ending that indie films tend to favor).

So far, I'm finding them to be emotionally very rich and surprisingly delightful. I'm left with the same feeling I get after a good novel: my brain is still processing the complexity of the plot/characters/emotional relationships and I'm craving a "book club" discussion.

Next time you get the chance - pick one up. I've had good luck with Lionsgate and Focus Features so far (and I think also Fox Searchlight Features).

Keens that Click!

Just when I thought you couldn't get any better...you go and do something like this: and totally out-do yourself!


Keens are super cool. They're sandals taken to the next level. They're water shoes without being 1980s acqua sox. They're light on your feet, they don't make your dogs bark, and after miles of wear they don't stink! They've got a nice tread and a rubber toe that comfortingly reminds you that you can rough house in them and not regret it later. You can wear them in the water or in the mud - heck! You can throw 'em in the washer. These shoes rock.



And they've just taken them to the next level.

This summer Keen came out with a version of it's most popular shoe that is SPD compatible. For all of you out there that aren't bike geeks, it means that they have cleats that attach to the bottom of the shoe so that road and mountain bikers alike can click their shiny new shoes into their pedals and enjoy a summer of fun in style. Seriously - it's the greatest thing since sliced bread. I can't get over it.

Actually, what I can't get over is that last summer I tried talking both Brian and Nick into manufacturing me this exact concept!! I thought for sure one of these two extra brilliant bike geniuses could jerry-rigg (sp?) a set of cleats onto my favorite sandals...but no such luck. It figures I would have a brillant idea moments before it goes public. I'm gonna have to start writing these things down...

ebay Anxiety

So, the concept behind ebay is brilliant - I'm not going to deny it. Total genius. Plus it's like a form of recycling, and you know I'm all about that. But as a consumer, it does just that: consumes. Suddenly I'm obsessed with finding the best deal. I begin searching and researching, using slightly different words. I begin to wonder if now is the opporunte window to be purchasing my item. Perahps in a few days/weeks/months the spattering of hits will be lower priced. I start obsessing over specific items. Is this the one I want - or this one? Which one is better?! Then there is the argument of strategy: big high early and scare off other potentials, or bide your time and bid suddenly at the end? If you bid too high too early - you've blown the "deal" aspect of the purchase. But if you wait too long, you risk being auto-outbid in the final seconds. It's exhausting!!

And then after all that drama - to not win: heartbreaking. You have not only failed at shopping, but you've invested all this time into, well, nothing (quite literally). And to win? Despite the ads on tv touting the clever philosophy "it's better when you win it," in my opinion, it's not. I am instantly plagued by the notion that if I had been more patient/looked harder/waited longer I could've gotten a better deal. Buyer's remorse is swift and inevitable.

Ahh, woulda/shoulda/coulda - it'll kill ya if you let it. Moral of the story: ebay is only for the strong my friend.

And on a completely unrelated note, my new pair of Keens should be arriving any day now! ;)

iTunes for Free!

So I'm sure most everyone knows about the free itunes single o' the week - but are you taking advantage of it?


If you've checked it out before and thought: Pshaw! I've never heard of this joker, it can't be very good; not worth my time - I urge you to reconsider. While the artists are primarily "under the radar" (so to speak) they often don't stay that way for long. Of the 73 free songs I've taken advantage of, 11 of them have shown up either on the radio, in commercials or on movies. For those of you who are stat geeks out there, it works out to almost 14%! Now I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but I'll tell you what: when you hear a song somewhere that you downloaded for free, it's pretty sweet. You get the notion that you're ahead in the game, baby.

And I know what you're thinking: if I've never heard of it, how will I know if it's worth my time? Well that's the beauty of it being free, my friend. My philosophy is if I listen to the 30 second preview and don't hate it (notice I did not say "like it"), if I don't hate it - then I download it. As it comes up on shuffle through my list if it turns out I like it: score! If it turns out I don't: bah-leted! Small risk, big gain.

So how do you get on this free train, you ask? Easy enough - itunes releases new free songs every Tuesday (if you're lucky there are 2 or 3, instead of just one!). Check it out once a week and you're good to go. Or, if this responsibility is too cumbersome, you can get click for a free RSS feed and be notified automatically :)

Pretty cool, eh?

Revolver

So Guy Richie makes some cool movies. I'm sure most people have at least heard of Snatch (largely thanks to Brad Pitt I'm sure), if they haven't seen it themselves. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (its fraternal older brother, if you will) is equally as entertaining with just as many plot twists and huge cast o' characters as its successor. Jason Statham has a role in both movies and anyone who watches enough movies with me knows I love Handsome Rob*. So when I put Guy Richie's most recent film Revolver on my queue, I was expecting another quick paced, complicated plot, caper-type thing.

That was my bad. While a plot synopsis may have you believing it will round out your 3 DVD "trilogy" of Guy Richie films, it's really quite different. I'm not saying this because I'm about to rip the film a new one - just putting it out there to the viewing public to expect something different, good different. Instead of tagging along for another raucous adventure where everything is going blisteringly in the wrong direction, only to end surprisingly well, this movie is more of a mind-bender.

It's not that the plot is particularly outstanding or the the dialogue is necessarily profound, but the movie as a whole was both more psychological and artistic than I was expecting. When all the pieces came together, I was surprised and pleased with the result. I sat there on my couch and watched the entirety of the credits roll by before my 56k modem brain began rolling again. It was just really interesting.

In any case, I can't get over it. I'm dying to debrief with somebody. IMDB rates the movie a 6.2 out of 10 stars. Wikipedia says it's a film for a "narrow audience". I don't know, but I guess that must include me because I really liked it. Your mission blog readers (should you choose to accept it) is to review the movie for yourself and share your comments here**. I'm up for a discussion, are you?

*Jason Statham's character name in the Italian Job...you're gonna have to make an effort to keep up. ;)

**If you haven't seen the movie, I make no guarantee there won't be spoilers in the comment section...assuming anyone takes up my mission.

Genius. Pure Genius.

I think I'm in love with Netflix. I can't get over it; it's simply the best thing ever. Whoever came up with this crap deserves an award/prize/national recognition for being a genius. Or at least 51% controlling interest of the stock.

The thing about it is that it is not only compulsively addicting (ooo! What should I get next?), but it also makes going to the mailbox fun again. Say good-bye to the days when bills and junk mail were the only things waiting to greet me c/o the postman. Oh no, not anymore. My mailbox now holds the greatest thing imaginable: possibility. Every trip to the mailbox now gives me a childlike glee as I mentally peruse the options of what may lay in wait for me. The thought puts a smile on my face and a little skip in my step.

And I know what you must be thinking: Hey. Geek. It's just movies in the mail, get over it. But the thing is, renting movies this way has turned out to be surprisingly...liberating. I know, weird huh? But when you think about it, it makes total sense. When you make a conventional trip to rent a movie, a lot of mental energy goes into the effort. Not only do you have to agree on a selection with your movie watching companions - but after touring ALL the new releases and spending the length of a full length feature just making your choice, there is an implicit amount of pressure for the movie to be worth it. If it's not, you've not only wasted the $5+ it costs to rent a movie these days, but you've wasted your time on two fronts: picking the movie AND watching it. With Netflix though, that pressure is suddenly released. Since you pick your movies ahead of time online (whenever they pop into your head; so convenient) and since you can rent an unlimited amount for the same cost...it's suddenly not such a big deal. Therefore, you can afford to take bigger risks in your movie selections. Expand your horizons! Try something new! If the movie isn't great, no biggie - just mail it back and get something else. Easy as pie. (Well, easier actually...pie making is kind of hard.)

Plus you don't have to drive anywhere to return the movie. I'm not even going to go into this particular piece of geniusness as it's pretty self-explanatory. But still. I love that part.

And I know I'm gushing here - but the fact that you can rate any movie you've seen with one click and it remembers all of your ratings and makes educated suggestions of other movies you'll like based on the ratings....yeah, seriously. If you don't have this crap, you should get it. (I just wish I could look at a graphical representation of all the statistical movie rating information I'm generating......okay, so I might be spending a little too much time on Lookout Landing and USS Mariner. What? Saber-metrics are cool.)

Bottom-line: it's über-efficient and I'm never going back. (And it's completely wonderful.)

The Best Thing About This Dress...

...is that you can shorten it and wear it again!

It's the mantra of enthusiastic brides everywhere. Too bad it's not true. I'm sorry brides of the world: It's. Just. Not. True.

Well not completely true anyway. We won't wear them for a legitimate reason ever again, but we will manufacture reasons to wear them and feel like we're getting a little more bang for our buck!

And that's exactly what we did on Tuesday night. Why? Well the answer is simple: it was the day 27 Dresses came out on DVD and it was the only proper way to truly honor the occasion.

In fact, we not only payed homage to our ill-fitting taffeta dresses via a ridiculous bridesmaid pose photo shoot (as you can see), but we also loaded up on margaritas and brownies (which really only exacerbated the bulging seams issue, but what did we care?) while trading bridesmaid stories.

We finished out the night with a door prize raffle. (That's right, when you come to my last minute impromptu parties - there are prizes.) One lucky bridesmaid walked away with her very own widescreen copy of our new favorite movie, 27 Dresses (Congrats Reanna!). After several minutes of Nazi like shushhing, I finally managed to reign in the giggling enthusiasm and we watched what will now be known as the "inaugural viewing".

111 minutes later we collectively sighed with satisfaction: yes, it was as good as we remembered it. All in all, it was a pretty good night. I mean hey, if the release of a new chick flick isn't a good reason to put on formal wear and drink in the middle of the week, then I don't know what is.

(P.S. I love James Marsden - he's so dreamy.)